[Guitar Woman]

I was once forced to live with an incredibly stupid person who was a fan of mainstream rap and filled his living area with "posters" of Akon and 50 Cent that he printed out from the internet himself. He believed for all the world that he was a lyrical genius and to that effect constantly wrote and recited rap lyrics about mean step parents and escaping from prison.

When given the opportunity, he would go into heavy detail about some chick he fucked in high school who he kept going back to even though she was ruining his life completely, and when I asked him why he replied "For the sex, duh. What are you, gay?" When dealing with other women, his mantra was "find em, fuck em, forget em" and I was subjected to WILD AND CRAZY stories about his affairs with no doubt horrifying latino girls. He also could not stand the fact that I listened to Led Zeppelin and AC/DC all the time, and ended up breaking the first part of my copy of Physical Grafitti. He also grew facial hair exclusively on his chin that looked for all the world like really long pubes, and whenever someone made fun of him for this he'd always answer with something along the lines of "THEY SAY IN CHINA IT TAKES GREAT WISDOM TO GROW A BEARD LIKE THIS, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW."

I soaked his toothbrush in the toilet and urinated in his shampoo. He never discovered this, but later we became quite violent towards each other and he was moved to a different room.

Good times!