I made it out
I went to her birthday party and she actually admitted that she wanted me back and I almost seemed possessed because without even thinking about what I was going to say, it just came out...
"You know what? Fuck it, I'm better off without you. Happy birthday."
I left and I hadn't heard from her since.
My roommate was kind enough to point out that that means I will not get laid anymore
but I walked away with my dignity. So I guess it all works out.