[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

I work from home...usually in my underwear. I don't fart much though.
My grandfather once told me that once you reach a certain age, you should never trust a fart.

In English class, Johnny was sitting in his desk with an confused look on his face and his arm raised.

"Teacher, do farts have lumps?" He asked. The teacher replies, "No."

"Well then," says Johnny, "I definately just shat myself."