[Kitsa]

My dentist visits were always a nightmare because my enamel is radiation-damaged and they didn't let up with the metal instruments. I had two molars crack in half and abscess, and they had to come out (I was to the point where I probably looked like I was having a seizure if I accidentally touched one with my tongue).

So I was all freaked out when I went to the oral surgeon, but then I was introduced to this wonderful, wonderful concept of conscious sedation. Valium and versed, valium so you don't care at the time and versed so you don't remember it later.

They put the IV in, and literally...nothing. Blackness. I have no memory whatsoever of the procedure, although my mom was in the room and said I was conscious and grimaced as if I was in pain. I have zero recollection of what happened between when they stuck the IV in and when they were helping me out of the chair afterward.

When I went back the second time, I thought surely the first time was a fluke, and this would be painful and bad. But no, exact same thing. It was like the underpants gnomes with no step 2. They put the IV in,__________________ , they helped me out of the chair and I went home.

I was so utterly charmed by this I sent their office a big gift basket. I asked if there was any way I could have a valium and versed drip to wheel around with me all day so I'd have no recollection of having gone to work.