[Kitsa]

I read that "large amounts of lol" and I was about to congratulate you on an excellent phrase before I reread it.

I just had a doozy. I was back in college and I was taking some sort of...I don't know, it was in the Speech program, I think. The program director was this prim, willowy, fakey woman I never got along with when I worked at the hospital. I was thrown into some sort of thing where I had to work one-on-one with people, one adult and one kid, and I'm not sure what I was doing wrong but this woman and the Speech majors above me were in a perpetual state of outrage at me.

Only they'd never tell me why they were outraged. I'd approach the director and ask her, and her eyes would just get wide behind her little glasses and she'd storm off. Like having to actually talk to me was more than she could handle. Some bitchy Speech major I didn't even know cornered me in the school Speech office, where she folded her arms and said, "I am so furious at you I don't even know what to do." I was trying to ask her why, and she would just cross her arms and flare her nostrils.

Then I realized that I had this piece of gum in my mouth, and every time I tried to talk the gum would get bigger and bigger. Eventually I spit it out and it was the size of a tennis ball. I don't remember if I had gum the rest of the time, but maybe that's what they were so pissed at me for. Anyway, I spit it out and looked up and the Speech major was gone.

I left, looking for her through a maze of corridors that was half one of the colleges I went to and half the back hallways of the hospital where I worked, and I walked up a flight of stadium steps to find that the school was now ringed with the peripheral buildings of a trendy mall. And I had gum in my mouth again.