[kellychaos]

Children often experience anger, sadness, rejection, and guilt. All of these emotions are confusing. They may also experience emotions such as relief, which they then feel guilty about.

Like adults, children experience stages of loss and grief. They often experience these emotions as a process with the following stages:

Stage 1:
Denial. Mom and Dad will get back together again.

Stage 2:
Anger. How can you do this to me? You betrayed me. If you really loved me you would stay together.

Stage 3:
Bargaining. If I am really good maybe you will get back together again.

Stage 4:
Depression. I feel empty inside and nothing can make it go away.

Stage 5:
Acceptance. Mom and Dad are not going to get back together. It's okay that my friends know my parents aren't together any more.

As with adults, children may not go through these stages in order, and the time the process takes varies from child to child.

Research and the experience of professionals over the past 20 years tells us what children of separated parents most want to know:

Mom and Dad will continue to love me.

Mom and Dad will stop fighting.

BOTH Mom and Dad will be here in my life.
If I can't have that, at least one of my parents will be here in my life.