[Babs]

I think MattJack honestly nailed it here.

Originally Posted by MattJack

The next morning you have to tell her that you have to be at work in an hour, and unfortunately the extermination guy is coming to fumigate you're place today. It's not due to roaches or some gross ass bugs like that because youre a clean guy and you handle your business when it comes to mopping and shi*. She'll probably ask if she can wait outside or hang around until you come home because she's, you know, homeless. Tell her you'd like for that to happen, but the landlord is a jerk and he'll throw you out if he sees somebody living there that isn't on the lease. Once she's out of the house and you "go to work." You're in the clear man. Call your buddy that is coming back home tomorrow from his vacation and tell him that you fed his cats while he was gone. Also tell him that you drank about six of his beers in the fridge last night as well as polishing off his $13 bottle of wine.You had the day off today and just got a little too into the game last night while watching his big ass flat screen. Tell him you crashed there last night too because you got a little "too drunk." Tell him that you'll hit him back ASAP before he has a chance to say anything. He'll say, "awww man it's cool bruh, thanks for looking after my place while I was gone!"

Just go home and roll a cigarillo at this point and remember how good it feels to be you.

You're welcome.

And thank you very much.