[Kitsa]

A few years back, my grandmother got me one of those sushi-making sets for Christmas. The kind with the plastic molds that hold the rolls and have the slots for slicing. Anyway, I opened it and she told me that she wanted me to make her some sushi. Not sashimi, of course.

So I sort of scrutinized her Christmas leftovers and found some Minute Rice in a cabinet, and did the best I could with what was there. I knew it wasn't going to taste good, being as it was minute rice and turkey and cranberry sauce and the stale nori that came with the sushi kit, but it was the best I could produce under the circumstances.

The nori came out really fishy-smelling and gross, and she immediately decided she didn't like it and pulled that off. She wanted me to make more, but she wanted a roll wrapped in bologna instead of nori. And it had to be a roll, not like spam musubi. So then I was trying to figure out how to get a thick slice of garlic bologna to stay around the minute rice.

She tried the bologna roll and picked the cranberry sauce out of it, and then told me it would be perfect with gravy. So she poured chicken gravy on top of the mess and ate it. To this day she tells people about the wonderful sushi I make.

That's my bologna sushi story. :tldr