[LordSappington]

I think we finally got 'internet' in 1999, when my insistence that all those free AOL floppys they left all over the mall had like a month of free trial. Turns out the version we got was something like 2.0, where all it had were chat rooms and pre-set websites; no browsing around the scary internet for us. Then we finally upgraded to 5.0, and I was finally free to play Neopets and look up pokemon cheats.
I think that was about when the computer got trashed, because I had no idea what the hell I was doing, downloading stuff the instant I saw a button saying I could. We took it in to a shop, and it had something like 200,000 shares of the Mydoom virus, and it blew the guy who was fixing it's mind.