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Old Jun 11th, 2011, 11:36 PM       
A recurring theme in my dreams lately has been me meeting celebrities. But not like your average plastic-faced movie stars, rather, I keep dreaming about weird situations with the likes of Tom Waits, The Green Man (whose legend used to be the subject of multiple childhood nightmares), Tor Johnson, and Robert Crumb.

My two favorites are:

Getting in a fight with Tor Johnson, initiated when sneezed on me and I smashed a bottle of bourbon on his head which made him scream "ED WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU!" and drop-kick me into a pile of oil drums.

Tom Waits and myself riding a gigantic antique Electrolux vacuum cleaner down a crowded street while he spits on, and cusses at people who get in the way.
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"You've gotta' look to the future. The future is anarchy. I'm talking about lawlessness, I'm talking about the Lebanons of the future. I'm talking about the breakdown of the whole system. The military defending people against people. You won't get your appropriations waving that flag, there's no glory in that kind of warfare!"
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