[LordSappington]

This one's just full of random, stupid shit.
It starts off with me working at Randall's, except my manager is now a pretty nice black man, and the store is a bit different. Someone decided to mix the salads in the cold case together, so we had stuff like broccoli salad and potato salad mixed in, and I was just serving it because I didn't even care anymore. While I was doing stuff, people would walk behind the counters and lift the glass case and just serve themselves stuff from it, and I was getting pissed at them for it, and went on lunch. In the break room, the World's Littlest Mouse was trying to put a blue hat away, and couldn't reach, so I helped him put it up. Then I realized, "Hey, Littlest Mouse, you're not a mouse at all! You're a damn spider!", and he got upset and said "Don't tell anyone or I'll get fired! No one else knows I'm a spider!", so I didn't tell anyone because he was a cool guy.
"So I'm on lunch and trying to find the Wendy's, but first I end up in an Applebee's, and then a Lowe's. Eventually, I gave up and started heading home, where I ran into my girlfriend, who was wearing some sort of shirt made out of bubblewrap, but not transparent. She was talking about how she had a sticker on her back that she didn't want to take off because it hurt, and I kept trying to take it off her and she would freak out. We went back to my house, and my dad had what looked like a fly tattoo on his eyebrow. I asked him about it, and He said "They're stitches; I hit my head on the microwave today." I looked over at the microwave, which had a comically sized dent on the top of it.
That was about when I woke up. How the fuck do our brains come up with this crap?