[Chojin]

Originally Posted by Dimnos

In an attempt to cut soda out I have started drinking water. However the clean flavorless taste gets a little boring sometimes. What is a good replacement for soda in addition to water? Personally I have been eyeing cranberry juice. Is this a dumb mistake?

Cranberry juice is a terrible replacement for soda for a couple reasons: one, it has more calories; two, it has more acid. the main reasons people hate on soda are for its calories and acid. diet soda is actually perfectly goddamn fine and there are credible studies that have proven that phosphoric acid does not "leech calcium from the bones by lowering the stomach acid ph", as most broscientists will claim. I drink a lot of diet caffeine-free sodas myself, but caffeine is fine too if you aren't having a hypertension problem.

Sauce: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11522558

Originally Posted by Zomboid

I weigh between 150-160, and I've still got a couple of chub areas THAT MUST BE EXTERMINATED. I also don't want to go to a gym. I think I should just cut those areas off with a sharp steak knife.

stubborn fat deposits in males are in the lower stomach and back. i won't go into the science of it because there's a good chance you don't give a shit, but the mix of fats in those areas contain a higher ratio of alpha-2 fats that are difficult to mobilize and therefore burn. if you're already reasonably lean (15%bf or less) then you may want to consider doing cardio when fasted and supplementing with a yohimbine hcl/caffeine stack. i'll give more details if that's the case. more than likely though, you just need to lower your bodyfat. count calories and stay at about 2200, though again if you srsly give a shit let me know and we can figure out a more exact kcal requirement.

Originally Posted by Esuohlim

HEY CHOJIN (serious post coming up, get ready), what's your opinion on BURPEES? I don't have access to any gym equipment currently and I've heard good things

burpees are pretty good for cardio. they're not good for much else. personally i think they're the best pre-workout cardio you can do, provided you can do about 20 of them without wanting to pass out. a good set of burpees will warm up everything, but any pre-workout cardio should be done at medium intensity; so unless you can do burpees all day long, an elliptical will serve you better.

for people who are wondering what a burpee is:


i prefer the variation with a chin-up at the top of the jump

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman

Also I still have no idea what the fuck all this jargon is or what any of these numbers mean

"Yeah bro do like 5x27 power cleans that shit is sick"

1x2 means 1 set of 2 reps. A 'set' is one series of lifts and a 'rep' is one complete movement. Most of my numbers are 3x5; on bench press this means i lie down and do 5 presses, then rest, for a total of 3 times.

this is a power clean:


it's an olympic lift, and i wouldn't recommend olympic lifts for anyone who is lifting for only aesthetics.

Originally Posted by Zomboid

I basically just want to be more limber and slightly more toned while still being able to smoke. I don't want/need to get BRO big, bro.

this is what literally every single person who ever wants fitness advice says. just an fyi. as terezi2 said, you will not get big unless you eat big and/or take roids.

Originally Posted by k0k0

So I was trying to study the convict conditioning chart above, but some things were too tiny to read. I ended up getting the book and if you look past all the "hey dude, lifting weights is for fags, in prison you gotta be tough" talk, there's really detailed explanations on how to do each exercise and how to get from step 1 to 10 without killing yourself. I'd recommend getting it, even if it's through illegal means. The beginning exercises look easy enough for a novice such as I.

I've never actually read the book, I just have looked at the bodyweight exercises and they're all pretty solid. I also hear it recommended by people I respect. Ty for looking into it and letting me know it's full of toughguy bullshit about weightlifting so I can warn people in the future. The only problem I have with the charts is that they want you to do 20 reps of stuff which is tres silly. 3-5 reps is best for strength and 10-12 is best for size; more than that will help your endurance and tolerance to lactic acid, neither of which are related to aesthetics. maybe if you're doing a sport that requires you to do 50 handstand pushups as part of your competition it would make sense.