I failed my first driving test because I rolled through a stop sign.
also I did some landscaping today for a woman who is having a wedding tomorrow. basically she has an acre of land with all kinds of flower beds and I see about 25 bails of pine straw and she's like "spread these throughout all the beds" and I'm like "ok" so she leaves and I'm like "fuck that shit ima chill" so I just lay down in the grass and sleep for about 8 hours and she comes back and is like "why havent you done anything the wedding is TOMORROW" and im like "bich fuk u" and farted.