[ThrashO]

really fucking bummed out tonight. I cant sleep and my stomach is turning. I feel like I'm waiting around for her to call me or come back to me when I know it's stupid. I feel like I'm not in control of anything tonight.

It was getting easier but I cant sleep. I cant sleep worth a shit and all I do is think of her and I have weird nightmares and find myself getting out of bed unable to breathe.

Right when we were breaking up I thought I was going to have to move back home (3 hours away, we currently live 5 minutes from eachother) and I told her I was moving home. She didn't care. she didnt even say anything. I felt like I couldve moved and it wouldnt have affected her one bit. I keep thinking about that. the more I think about how I could have moved back home and how much she didn't care the more It makes me think that she couldnt give a fuck less about us.

Im not high right now by the way, just lack of sleep. think im going to go for a walk, get some fresh air, maybe ball my eyes out like a stupid pussy.

BRB