[Guitar Woman]

I used to think I hated salad, but then I made a salad out of vegetables that didn't suck fucking dick, i.e. tomatoes and onions and banana peppers and green peppers drizzled with vinegar and salt, and no fucking lettuce because all lettuce is limp, rubbery, horrible bullshit that tastes like dandelion leaves, even fresh lettuce, so don't give me that "oh you just aren't eating good lettuce" fuckspeak because you're WRONG

Why didn't anyone think of this before? Once again I've proved that everyone in the world is a fucking idiot except for me.