[Dr. Boogie]

So I'm having a tough time at work because the boss decided to skip town for a few days and I'm basically having to run the whole business while he's gone. Then, finally, he shows up again late last night. Good, I think to myself, tomorrow I can get him caught up and ask him all those questions I've been saving for when he got back, since he's so unreliable over the phone.

I come in for work this morning, and he shows up a couple hours later, as he is wont to do. After a few minutes, he comes back to my work area and says, "John, could you take a look at this." I'm not sure what he wants to show me, so I grab my notepad and follow. He walks to the bathroom, turns to me, and gives the following speech:


"This isn't the bathroom at a Chevron station, all right!? We don't have anyone who comes in to clean our toilet! I'm not interested in cleaning up after you, and [his wife] damn sure isn't either! I've told you about this before, and now I'm getting angry!"


And he had talked to me about our toilet before. That time, he pointed out a balled-up bit of blue string that had fallen off my shirt onto the toilet seat. Back then, I just brushed it into the bowl and went about my day. This time, though, things were different:

Not only was there a small piece of lint on the seat; there was a hair on it as well! I wanted to call the CDC and have them quarantine the entire building, but I settled for just brushing the contaminants into the bowl.


I think it was something about the way he compared a hair and some lint to the conditions in a gas station men's room that made me wonder about him. I also couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't concerned about the brown ring around the inside of the toilet that's been there since I started in September of last year, or the growing pile of hair that he shoves into the corner and then ignores. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

The moral of the story is that if you're ever in a small IT shop in Southern California and you need to use the can, for god's sake make sure the toilet seat is left immaculate!