[AChimp]

mike (staggere@pacbell.net)
san diego

Date: 3 August 2003
Summary: exceeded expectations!

CRAPPY MOVIE AHOY (possible spoilers)

my friend and I went into the moviehouse expecting the worst movie to ever appear before our glazed-over teenage eyes.

and let me tell you, my brothers and sisters it exceeded our expectations tenfold.

the movie itself is so horrid i can't remember the words i used at the time to describe it. early on, the conversations between the characters make you cringe. every actor is annoying. everyone says the F-word at least 5 times in every scene. i wanted to punch the retard kid, among others. then after the start, where you think there would be a story and a plot and a climax and whatever, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN HOODWINKED. THERE IS NONE. THERE IS SOMETHING, LISTEN CLOSELY. DO YOU HEAR THAT, THAT IS THE DIRECTOR LAUGHING AT YOU, YOU STUPID MORON. WHY DID YOU PAY 10 BUCKS TO SEE THIS. WHY. and the ending, oh my GOD. THE MOVIE WOULDN'T DIE.

the only redeeming areas of this aborted fetus of a movie would be the time when J-lo is describing the awesome power of the vagina, and then when she says gobble gobble, and when the dickhead mob boss dude (forgot his name) gets his head blown off by good ol Al P. i think thats it. the music sucked too, it was way out of place for every scene.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TEN DOLLARS. EVEN IF YOU'RE LIKE "OH BUT I WANT TO SEE THE WORST MOVIE EVER OK SO I CAN BE COOL LIKE YOU AND COMPLAIN ABOUT IT."

DO NOT SEE IT. DO NOT RENT IT. DO NOT ENCOURAGE THEM.