Quote:
|
But anyways, I've figured out why I get depressed. I ruminate (yes, that is the technical term for brooding). Because I am so pessimistic all the time, I will analyze a situation over and over and over and over and over until all I've done is focus on the negative aspects and until I've blown them way out of proportion and forgotten what actually happened. Then, I have to spend a few more days reminding myself that my new interpretation is completely distorted and then a few more days trying to remember what originally occurred.
|
Welcom to my world Chimp. Hopefully you won't stay long. The food is bad and the accomodations suck.
This is EXACTLY what did. Still do sometimes. I wish I had some better advice.....but....well....this is all I got......
I decided to use the thing that was causing the problem to make it better. Logic told me that if one direction didn't help try the other. Insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
So what I did is when I caught myself starting to dwell. I let it happen. But I didn't just brood. I didn't just let it take it's course. I forced it. I talked to myself. I had imaginary conversations with the other person(s) I ran every scenario. Every possibility. I worte letters that have never been sent (God don't send them) I went over it and over it and over it in the shortest time possible. Instead of the slow depression of dwelling I had the forced anger and frustration of pushing the issue to the extreme. At first it seemed counter productive. I'd be all angry and depressed for a day or two but then instead of that damn lingering depression it started an upward swing. Now, I know what my triggers are both for cause and for getting over it. Most of my depression is fairly normal now. Which of course leads me to the really really super mondo important part. Some depression is normal. Being upset about what you went through is okay. Hell, you wwould be more unhealthy if you weren't upset. Don't strive to never be depressed. I'm sure you've read this, probaby even been told. But I speak from experience. Also, and this is much more difficult but still critical. Accept that sometimes you won't get "closure" A lot of my dwelling was because I was looking for that answer. That why. Now, and it is hard, I just have accept that the answer won't be coming. It is one of the good things that came from my mother passing away.....I had to accept that I would never get the answers. The first time is the hardest. And since mine was a big one......
It isn't much, but I hope it helps.