[CaptainBubba]

I LOVE YOU WITH MY HEART, PASSIONATE SPIRIT, AND ANAMALISTIC SOUL, FILLED WITH LUST AND ADMIRATION FOR YOU.

WHEN YOU EMERGED INTO THE WORLD FROM YOUR MOTHER'S DIRTY INFECTED CUNT, GOD HIMSELF INVENTED THE WORD "FUCK" AS NO PHRASE AT THAT TIME COULD POSSBILY CONVEY THE MAGNITUDE OF HIS ERROR IN LETTING YOU NOT BE A MISSCARRIAGE.

EVERY DAY YOU GET UP AND SIGH KNOWING THAT YOU'RE FAT AND UGLY AND HAVE HIDEOUS ACNE AND NO GIRL/BOY/ANIMAL WILL EVER LOVE YOU AND WAKE UP WITHOUT SCREAMIN OR FILING A LAWSUIT.