[Mike]

Like, I was like 11 and OMG this is totally a complete secret! I went into the kitchen and I took a dill pickle out of the jar and ran with it upstairs and I put it in my (you know) and I pushed it in all the way and pulled it out over and over and I imagined that it was the jolly green giant's wee wee! I want to go steady with a boy as soon as my boobies start. OMG I want to color his fireman green with a marker so that it can be just like my first love: the jolly green giant (no offence to Mr. Clean lol).