[CaptainBubba]

At risk of no one giving a damn, I'll humor the spirit of this thread by telling my fantastic drunken tales.

One time I fasted for an entire day and then chugged about a glass of Jack Daniel's. I remember standing up and saying, "OMG I'm really drunk you guys, anybody wanna give me a fake job interview and see if I can do it?". The next thing I remember is waking up in a bed soaking wet, smelling like shit and wanting to puke. It turns out I lasted about 20 minutes during which time I acted like a crazed fool and then puked and blacked out. They (my friends) carried me to a bed, but they were drunk too so they they dropped me on my head about 5 times on the way.

I litterally crawled out of the bed and got to the bathroom and took a bath. After lying in the bathtub for a while I felt like puking again, but I couldn't move so I ended up puking in the tub. I still couldn't move, so I soaked in my own vomit for about one hour, then I puked again and got the strength to get out. I crawled to the room where my friends were sleeping and proceeded to puke on everything.

Later we went to the mall and I tried to eat but my throat and mouth was scorched from stomach acid and I could barely drink water.

I am almost physically incapable of drinking whiskey now.