even our thought processes are governed by our experiences and innate wiring. what exactly is the mind to you? is it eternal? do you believe in an eternal soul?
i understand what you mean about denying your instincts in order to discover what's yours alone, separate from nature. but is it neverending? will there come a time when you're not afraid to embrace all that you are, including your instincts?
and, i think i've said this before, but happiness, while it used to be my main goal in life, is just a sliver of it. i don't know exactly what to call it, but i'm more into a rightness of being and acting--not right based on social mores, but right founded in what i know, and not "know" as in think.
i know i'm a rambler.