[Molotov Kitten]

Look at this piece of shit. Seriously, look at it. It's terrible. It's a fucking white background with the three main characters mugging for the camera. Ooh, how creative! A worthy cover for a worthy film! Yeah right.

I know retarded kids who could make better DVD covers than this in Microsoft Paint. And you wouldn't even need to pay them. How much did they pay the jackface who designed this crap? It doesn't matter, because any amount is too much for such a shoddy, uninteresting DVD cover. Christ, a fucking white background? You know what, I think I was right. It WAS made in Paint. All they did was make a red box around some pasted-in photographs of the actors, then enter some text and voila! Suck my balls.

What's even worse than the disgraceful "design" (if you can call it that) is the way the actors are posing. Paul Rudd is an asshole and I hate him. What's with the smug smile, Paul? Think you're hot shit, wearing your trendy J Crew sweater with the rolled up sleeves while your bitch girlfriend stands next to you with her hands on her hips. Why would you marry a woman whose hands are on her hips? Women only have their hands on their hips when they're being all "no-nonsense." "No-nonsense" is code for "evil cunt who hates fun and thinks she's better than everybody else." I just saved you a lifetime of pain and forced abstinence. You're welcome.

And what is Jason Segel looking so pleased about? He's probably stoned. The best friend in all these shitty movies always has some WACKY and HILARIOUS quirk that makes the audience hate him. Obviously Jason Segel's quirk is that he uses marijuana. Snore. Also, according to the back of the box, Jason Segel and Paul Rudd have a "bromance" going on, which would explain why Jason appears to have his thumb up Paul's ass. It would also explain why Paul is smiling.

What the hell is a bromance? Anyone who ever uses the word "bromance" should be shot in the throat. Actually, I take that back. Any formulaic, unoriginal comedy should be encouraged to use the word "bromance" to save me the trouble of renting it. Ditch this shit.

In conclusion, I hate this movie cover and I would probably hate the actual movie if I watched it. But I'm not going to, because I make it a point to not watch movies with stupid covers.