[Mad Melvin]

Fresh crispy lettuce, sliced tomatoes and mozzarella in a bowl and put some olive oil, black pepper and balsamic vinegar on top. Tasty. You can also add some strips of air-dried ham on it to make it more meaty.

I don't know if this is healthy, but it sure is tasty as shit (and quite cheap): Buy some beef. Cut it to proper size pieces and throw them in a pan. Fry them up and throw them in a tray (is tray the proper word? The shit you put in an oven). Add chopped garlic and onions in the tray with the meat. Also bacon. I like to add mushrooms as well, but it's a matter of taste, really. Add a meat stock cube (again, not sure if this is a real phrase. The brown colored seasoning cube that makes the food taste meaty and good), salt, black pepper, basil, rosemary and most importantly, red wine. Get the cheapest wine you can find. 0,6 liters should be fine for the food. Drink the rest. Put some tinfoil on top of the tray and put it in the oven for five hours at 120 degrees celsius (convert this to whatever fahrenheit nonsense you are using). Serve with rise or potatoes.

You can also put some carrots or some shit like that there and it would be just as tasty.