[rook]

i have friends who've had them. they never talk about them and of course i don't ask.

sometimes it's just one of those things that you feel that you have to do. something just innocuous as having fun one evening can seriously fuck things up. being silly and messing around with your guy shouldn't result in reproduction - i really wish it didn't. but it's like weighing the consequences and you know, if this was a perfect world, yeah there would be no problem with keeping the baby, but knowing me at least, i'm busy as hell and hardly have time to maintain myself. i don't like children. i like sex, yes, but sex and children are very separate entities and i wish one didn't result in the other. it makes no sense to me for some reason why it did.

i think a lot of people have had them. i had a close call recently involving running to rite aid at 4 a.m. for some DIY tests. i remember thinking to myself on the way what i would do if i were pregnant, and abortion, as unlikeable as that option is, was the step that immediately came to mind as what i would end up doing if i were pregnant. if i had a close call, i'm sure so many other women have gone through this too- and actually were pregnant.

my friends seem the same nutty ppl they always were and if they're suffering on the inside, they never show it. maybe somethings you just have to block out b/c even if it was for the best, you can't change the result so why hurt yourself thinking about it.