[KILLADEUCE]

OMG- This about sums up my last "Relationship"

Cuddle Bitches
cuddle bitch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.

First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on criminal.

As to how it fits into the framework of the ladder.

Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing when she's off fucking guys who basically don't care about her like outlaw bikers and band members. So he gets to be the proxy father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is missing at the time. Perhaps the only consolation of this is a ladder jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful indeed.... (Oh yes it is)

How do we know this? Well, if a woman had a nice loving boyfriend then he would be doing all the cuddling and whatnot and likely wouldn't stand for a woman maintaining a stable of cuddle bitches. Unless he's completelty pussified, in which case she's likely fucking some other people anyway.

For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing he is being completely used. So this poor tool is really setting himself up for a fall at that point. (This is getting a little too specific at this point... I mean this is EXACTLY how it went down PITY ME)


Shit... I am still Falling now, it's been about 5 weeks-

ARGHHHHHHHHGHGHHGHHHHHHHHAHHGSHAHGghgghahFGADSKLHB KNSKLNSDLKNSD...................

Thanks for bringing this back to my attention, i scanned through it when i first saw it posted, finally broke down and really read it... Wow... Almost Prophetic wisdom- Chimp a defnite read man, it won't help the pain, but it may help the perspective- It definitely helped mine.[/b]