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MattJack MattJack is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Mother F*ckin Dirty (bruh)
Old May 8th, 2007, 02:06 AM       
there is going to be a pop quiz within a few weeks on how to lose your dignity and self esteem. I hope you are prepared.

lol nice Seth. You couldn't make it to the bathroom or floor? I've almost been thrown up on, but thank god I didn't because I can't handle throw up Throw up makes me throw up.

That reminds me of this guy I use to work with about 2 years ago. He wasn't really the brightest, in fact I thought he had learning issues when I first met him. Turned out he wasn't slow or anything, just incredibly stupid.

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So I go back to work after one weekend and Brad (that's his name!) and I are talking about what we did. Well he tells me that he went to a party and got laid. Cool huh? Well.. this is how the conversation went..

"So what did you do this weekend Brad?"

"Man I got wasted! I drank a fifth of Wild Turkey and had sex with this girl at HER house and at HER party. It was in the bathroom while the party was going on."

"That's cool man, do you know her or what?"

"Nah man, she's only like 16 though," Brad says to me.

"You know that's kind of, um, illegal, right?"

"Man Matt, it's a mind over matter thing."

"Oh is it now?"

"Yea Matt, if they don't mind, it don't matter!"

"Wow dood, that's pretty bad. I'd watch out for that jailbait Brad."

"Yea well here is the fucked up part though... I bent her over the sink and we start having sex. Within like 5 minutes she starts throwing up all in the sink, I just kind of paused for a second. I didn't know what to do."

"So what did you do?"

"Well, I just gave it about 10 seconds, pulled back her hair, then I started going again! huhuhuhuhuh!"

"Brad, that's fucked up, and borderline rape. You understand when you die you're going to hell, right?"

"Well I..."

"Yea, I'm gonna go mop the floor now dood."
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