[McClain]

1. you decide to change jobs. do you tell me?
Certainly.

2. do you talk to my friends about what boobs look like in california?
Do you befriend femenists? If so, no. If not, yes.

3. a woman calls you and i ask who it is. do you tell me it's your boss pretending to be a girl?
No.

4. after having sex you tell me you're sorry. why?
I didn't think it was normal to cry.

5. would you ever tell my best friend that you raced to new york city after 911 and rescued a dog from the rubble?
No. But that's only because I hate dogs.

6. would you hide porn from me? even if it was really bad porn?
Yes.

7. quick we're out of milk and money doesn't come in until friday what to do?
Borrow $10 from a friend.

8. if i asked you how much your snap on account was up to would you lie and tell me $500 or tell the truth and say $5000?
I'd give an approximate number.

9. we can't pay rent this month. do you promise to take care of everything and tell me not to worry or do you let me fucking handle it?
Take care of it.

10. how many cigarettes would you go outside to smoke if i was in labor at the hospital giving birth to your child?
None.

11. do you own any books that don't have to do with getting rich quick?
Yes.

12. have you read them?
Yes.

13. did you really go to college?
Yes.

14. when i'm about to walk into a room filled with your family will you tell me "don't say anything about anything" while expecting me to know what the hell you're talking about?
No.

15. do you talk in cliches?
Show me the money!