Jul 2nd, 2011, 11:23 AM
i laid low for three days. long enough to decide i needed to get the fuck out of MD and go to SC for good. houses were cheap, there was some jobs and it was nothing like home. i like the south, everyone is polite and they have a "doing it my own pace so fuck you very gently" kind of attitude. life seemed to be looking up.
i got home to find nancy and my landlord in the driveway. now some of you have been to that shit hole farmhouse we lived in, and you can bet the rent i was paying was not being reported. the place was only slightly better than nothing. my personal paper street soap company, and it was the best i could afford. even with a high paying job, 3 room town houses were going for 1900 a month in the section 8 ghetto part of my area. i was paying a lot for that dump and my landlord was very kindly standard 00' republican asshole. i did not want to see him.
i get out of the car and two people i have no interest in talking to start yelling at me. it is cold and gray and it feels like snow and that is all i really care about. i always imagine i looked pretty cool in this moment, staring off at the dull horizon, lighting a cigarette. telling them both to shut the fuck up.
if you have never managed to tell someone to shut the fuck up in a menacingly friendly way, i hope someday you get the chance and pull it off. they both shut the fuck up immediately. in a month of humiliation i had finally shown a little spine.
Turning to my landlord, "Mr. Wrinkles, I am moving out the first of February. I am having some emotional difficulties and do not wish to speak with you."
"If I had known this," pointing to the husk of the burned mattress, "I would never have rented ...." He stopped talking because i had started a quick walk over to whip his republican slum lord ass. i repeat at this point that i was CRAZY, no one should have trusted me with anything. Mr. Wrinkles got the message and got in his lexus and left. i never talked to him in person again.
nancy and i stood there and i felt every ounce of hate i had for 16 years of her bullshit. the wind blew my hair back, it is the only time i have ever been happy with my hair in my entire life. i was an angry man. i looked it.
"You should have asked me before you told him you were moving out, now where are me and the kids going to live?"
wtf? it can be many things, a sound, a motion, a feeling, a universal vibe that everything around you can feel. my WTF? was all those things. i laughed so hard i nearly puked my guts out. by the time i straightened up she was standing there with a very puzzled expression. i decided to clarify things:
"those children will never live with you again for the rest of your entire life. you are a terrible mother, a terrible person, and i hope more than anything that you get exactly what you deserve. i hate you. leave and never come back." she left and never came back.
i called my work and told them i quit. i had gone crazy and was not fit to carry on with my job. i was a danger to myself and others. they let me take a month off, and i could decide what to do after that. it was the best month ever! the kids and i played fable all the way in every possible way. there was a lot of gay rape.
i had lined up a place, had enough money to get started, and was going with our basic shit, and nothing else was coming. and on January 30, 2006 the kids and i burned everything.
more to come, promised AK that i would go to the craft store to get some shit she needs for some shit she is doing (a lot more about AK later)