Quote:
Originally Posted by george
oh my stars and garters, i go to sleep and thrasho made a post. hmm...
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Yeah nice way to cover up the fact that it took you 10 hours to come up with a 2 paragraph long response.
Quote:
Originally Posted by george
24 or so years ago (a prequel):
now at this point in my life i was fifteen and i decided to run away from home. i had wandered for a very long time, but like the great Bob Seger said "my step was quick and light" and eventually my dainty little steps led me to an old school gas station.
back in those days a few gas stations were still privately owned and this was a very shitty one. i went into the bathroom to take a shit, and just as i got down to business i heard a female voice:
"put your dick in the hole, and i will fuck you!"
i was very afraid, but i was fifteen and horny. i put my dick in the hole, and there was some grunting, and a lot of pressure on my gigantic cock, but nothing happened. i pulled out, and the voice said " put some shit on the end to lube it up"
i obliged, and felt shit and all slide into a dry, uncomfortable vagina. as with most young men, i finished fast  i washed my dick in the sink, and went on with my life.
one day i when i was in the Marines i was at the Piggly Wiggly in north carolina returning a bag of dog food that was filled with roaches (the south is so fucked up) when i saw a big fat pig of a woman with the most Jimmy looking tard of a kid. she was crying. stuck in the customer service line with her i had no choice but to stand there and listen to that little tard say "meme meme meme meme" over and over and watch his fat mama cry.
"he is your baby" the lady said. and i recognized that voice, it made me think of fish, shit, and shame. "doctors say he got some of that shit in his brain and wont never be right."
i looked at the lady, then at the kid. and laughed. i gave her the bag of dogfood so that she had something to feed her little turd baby. she gave me her address so that i could keep track of the little fucker if i wanted, i did not but sometimes i would send her used toilet paper or pictures of my nuts just to be clear of how much i hated her and the child.
she called him thrasho, and of all the sadness and shame i would feel in life the fact i fucked a fat pig through a hole with shit on my dick and made a shit brained mutant freak was my greatest shame.
please feel sorry for me, because this is the only reason i do.
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So you're the man the doctors always told me about!
My whole life growing up the doctors always said I was lucky. They told me that my conception was one in a million!
Through an early DNA test it was apparent that my genes were not of highest quality. As a matter of fact I was told that one grand night, whilst my mother was ovulating and on the brink of OD'ing on numerous drugs, she had her rotten eggs penetrated by the seed of an obviously inbred taco bell employee.
The way I was told, is that the chromasomes of the man who did this were just a grab-bag of total absurdity and nonsense. However, foreign material was introduced with the seed at this time, and as you said, YES! It was fecal matter!
The doctor told me that this was a practice usually done to children in the deep south called a "mississipi kids meal" which is where the father slathers on a heaping, warm serving of waste onto his privates and forces his daughters to clean it. Which hole they use is up to them, but they know what happens if it stays dirty
But anyways, in this one instance, the dung had clung to the one sperm that was tough enough to break through the outer black crust of the egg and in the end, it was the only thing on my side. It protected me. All the coming months of drug abuse and miscellanious sperm was thwarted by my new protozoan friends
I guess that's why you're cretin children probly all have crab feet and cleft lips because Nancy wouldn't let you shit in her pussy. Instead, she shit in yours. She also took a shit in your heart, your brain and your soul and destroyed your life. What's it like to call the mother of your children a disgusting pig who ruined your life? Do you ever look at your kids and see her face? And then do you realize what kind of mistake you REALLY MADE.
Maybe it'll sink in when youre at rock bottom and a strange moment of realization will knee you in the forehead in between bong hits and you'll go "HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH I FUCKED UP OHHH GODDD!!!! ZOE SHOOT ME!! IN THE FACE! JUST TAKE YOUR FINGER AND PUT IT ON THE TRIGGER! NO, NOT LIKE THA-"
"Daddy mah crab hand wont fit in thar, daddy it wont do that. daddy why come i dont have normal hands n feet like the other girls you touch daddy? daddy why? im so tired of ramen daddy"
"BABY ITLL BE OK, IM GONNA DELIVER 2 MORE PIZZAS TONI-
*BOOOOOM!!!!!*
"I figgured it out daddy"