[LordSappington]

Fortunately, Drew here hasn't gotten to this level yet. He is rather unsettling, though. He's one of those guys that never has any emotion in his face or voice, ever. God forbid anyone ever gets the idea he was ever happy at any point in his life. I think he subconsciously tries to make up for this by making inappropriate attempts at humor, such as when I came back from break and we had this little exchange:
Me: "Did I miss anything while I was gone?"
Drew: "We had an orgy with a bunch of girls. It was cool."
At this point, he continued his routine 'Stare at you with no visible change in any way. Possibly into your soul.'
More unsettling is that he apparently has a crush on the tiny, tiny teenage girl who works in the bakery across from us. This worries me greatly, not only because she's often the only person nearby that keeps me from going postal, but that any advance from him to her would probably end up with a physical manifestation of pure workplace awkwardness, aimed directly at me, because I think he thinks I'm his friend now.