Alright, I sat down and dedicated some time to figuring out this mystery green gunk.
Here it is, in the pristine Made in China green packet
In the plastic package, it tastes like plastic.
Upon tearing it open, it stretches, like gum. That's a good sign right?
Sadly, it smells like plastic.
And I don't like it.
Might as well get it all out...
It's a ball of putty. It's not food. Why would an orthodontist give this out in a bag with a toothbrush and floss?
Of course, I do the only RESPECTABLE thing before tasting, and make it a penis.
It's excited!
Down the hatch!
Wait, it fits in the nose, too!
Alright, time to lick this thing.
And it tasted like plastic. It wasn't candy. It wasn't gum. It wasn't even scented. What were they thinking?