[Kitsa]

I have a bad nature story.

I'm allergic to honeybees, right

I had to take a picture of an outdoor sculpture for something. Got a ride there, sculpture's out in the middle of a field. I am totally not thinking, have jeans and sandals on, leave my purse (with epi-pen) in the car and just go out with the camera, la la la la la.

I get out about 30 feet before I notice movement out of the corner of my eye. I look down and realize that I am standing in a field of clover, and on that clover are more honeybees than I've ever seen in my life. There is honestly a bee on every single fucking flower. So I freeze in my tracks, thinking "oh shit".

It takes me a full half hour to retreat 30 feet through a series of dumbassed tai-chi-looking moves. I had to balance on one foot and wait for the next place I could step down. It was sheer dumb luck that I didn't get stung on the way in, but I thought for sure I would get stung on the way out. I was trying not to hyperventilate because the CO2 would've riled the bees, and I knew if something happened to me I'd fall over onto a carpet of bees.

I finally got back to the parking lot, but I was in the middle of a full-on panic attack at that point. All I could see was bees. I got my picture, but for the next 50 miles or so I was paranoid that bees had flown up my pantleg and just hadn't stung me yet.

Had nightmares about it that night. I fucking hate bees and I fucking hate not being able to breathe and I fucking hate having to use that epi pen.