Mar 23rd, 2012, 03:58 AM
Update for some reason:
I've gotten two sessions in, and I'm feeling better. I have goals now, I'm learning to deal with stuff, to be more social and assertive, and to let myself be happy. I'm working towards getting back together with my ex, but we'll see how that works out; I'm positive it will work, because the only thing that went wrong was jsut that I wasn't letting myself be happy. I'm even going to ask my dad's friend to teach me to play the bass, because I figure I've wanted to learn it for a while now, and it's a bit of a social step that I wouldn't normally take.
On two other notes: I'm going to be having my nerve resection soon, which means sometime in early or mid April, they're going to remove a section of my skull, move my brain to the side, and sever the left balance nerve. I'll have to learn motor skills again, but it will get rid of my vertigo attacks permanently. So, I'm ready to shave my head and rock this shit!
Bad note: It turns out that over a year of using diazepam more and more frequently for vertigo has given me not really an ADDICTION, but a chemical dependency on it, which is pretty common in long-term uses; this became evident when I had panic attacks last night and tonight because I didn't take any, and I'm stopping that right here and now, and starting a weaning program, because I am NOT going to deal with being chained to a damn pill, and I'm getting out of this now while it's easy.