[Jixby Phillips]

Oh hey I guess I have to defend my present now but I will do it here becusae nobody wants to hear my bellyaches and also because that thread is not about secret santa letters and this is really close to being a secret santa letter.

I actually spent more time getting a present than I let on. I spent two afternoons shopping. Many of the things I saw seemed uninspiring. Then I thought of Silly String, which I REALLY had to tear my city apart to even find. Getting people together for a silly string war seemed like good fodder for a picture story, or at least I thought so. I also had unrealistic expectations as to how much silly string actually cost, and how much I could get with 20 bucks. I imagined maybe twice the ammount. 8 cans of silly string would have been impressive right? I can remember getting ONE can of silly string as a present as a kid and it running out like a flash, and being sad. I also thought of the poison notes joke while buying the silly string, which I now commited to because I had spent so much time running around town trying to find any.

I woke up pretty late on the day of the deadline and I had about five hours to pack the silly string before the post office closed. I realized I needed to spice up the gift. Then a genuine paranoid concern over the poison notes came over me. So I wrote the letters. And I tried to make them funny! It'd be like a singer writing someone a song as a gift, or an artist painting a painting as a gift! I'm not any of those things. I am a sorta-funny guy. SO i wrote a sorta funny letter! Then, another sorta-funny letter!

I was proud of myself for coming up with a present that wasn't just a bunch of random stuff, and tried to get a present that was conceptual and also an experiance in of itself... not to put people down who DID send random stuff; I had a ball with spenglers present and immediately after I got done playing with his stuff, I started to silently panic to myself and I truly regretted not going with the randon approach for Dr. Boogie's presents.

So yeah, the present kinda sucks. But I tried, alright? Honest.

Merry Christmas, and suck my dick

Nah I don't mean the thing about "suck my dick," I'm just blowing off steam, you know? we're cool right?