[JakeOfAllTrades]

Vapor by Amanda Philipacchi. She creeps me out more than Stephen King, in the wrong way. I mean, she gets kidnapped by him, he gets kidnapped by her, both have a psychopathic and shameless love affair, and there's a really unnecessary torture scene that is just horrible.

Anil's Ghost by Michael Ondaatje was also terrible. It was a pretentious "Ooh, I wrote The English Patient, look at my pretty and wordy paragraphs that are beautiful yet gaudy baubles that add nothing to the story. And what was the deal with the ending?

Don't get me started on Eragon. It's like a train wreck filled with stolen Star Wars plots that got derailed by sheer genericness. Yes, the Mono-myth of Campbell is a worthy exploration but when you blatantly steal character designs from George Lucas and get away with it, is it truly an honest victory? (Not that I have any respect for George Lucas anymore after the "Prequels of Doom". You know what I mean.)

But by far The Secret is craptacularest of all. Do people honestly believe that the Universe will give them stuff if you ask for it? You have to earn it!