the funniest thing i ever saw.....
i had beaten Fable, Solid Snake, and Spiderman. i had pulled the kids out of school. i had put everything else i needed to do off to the last moment. i was having a great time. the day had come to destroy yesterdays life.
i began by taking all the small stuff. linens, the odd copy of Swank, everything had to go. dirty clothes? not anymore
i piled all of this in a small circle in my back yard, and poured about a gallon of gasoline on it.
then i got the bigger shit. dressers, bed frames, anything that would burn.
finally there was nothing left but the couch. a great big sleeper couch from the 1960's that we inherited when Nancy's weirdo wife swapping uncle had croaked. it was huge and heavy. the house i lived in had a set of wooden steps up to the door, and i had only one choice. i had to flip the couch over the porch rail so that it could fall 10 feet to the ground. we hoped it would come apart in some sort of gravity assisted explosion.
the kids gathered around the porch. i heaved one side onto the railing. i got to the other side and flipped the whole thing over the side. the couch tumbled twice in the cold air, and landed on it's side.
the bed part popped open and a squirrel skeleton with a bushy tail came flying out and we all screamed. then we all puked, then started laughing.
and laughing. we had slept on that couch. lived on it. and the skeleton seemed to say it all. we had a lot of fun throwing it and chasing each other around with it.
this may be the part where i fail to express to you how funny this really was. how grim and serious i had been all day. how scared the kids were to have their world changing so fast. how strange i felt in my own life. how i had a part of me saved by the most oddly preserved skeleton i had ever seen.
once we calmed down we added the couch to a burn pile that was easily six feet tall. i added a lot more gasoline. and i ended that part of my life with a fire.