Oct 21st, 2007, 10:42 PM
Okay, since I've never really told y'all (and I'm only going to go through typing it all out once)
10th grade, one of my previously very close friends killed herself. I was told the day after Christmas, and since her father was Jewish, she had to be buried within something like 3 days, so I was unable to attend. The year afterward (11th), I had a huge mental breakdown along with what the school considered to be a conspiracy in my circle of friends, so I was sent to Taylor Manor, another friend went to Sheppard Pratt, and yet another went to Johns Hopkins. My friend that went to Sheppard got off pretty easy. My friend that was sent to Johns Hopkins is pretty much a vegetable now due to over-medication with Valium among other meds. I was mis-diagnosed with major depression, seasonal affective disorder, and was put on Prozac immediately. Prozac made me worse, but I did what I could to get out of that place, so I pretended to be better. I stopped taking it while telling them I still was to escape it. I was also packed off to several psychiatrists, one of which decided to inform my parents (during the initial visit and in front of me) that he was certain I was raped or molested as a child. Thankfully my parents saw that as tactless and uncalled for and went to the rest.
It wasn't until later on after years of therapy that I was officially re-diagnosed correctly with bipolar type 2, severe seasonal affective disorder, adhd, a sleeping disorder, and an un-named eating/mood disorder. After trying Prozac, Wellbutrin, Strattera, Zoloft, Nortryptalin, Seroquel, Trazadone, and I'm sure a few others, I still have found no medication to help. Growing older has done nothing to even out my chemicals in my brain, but Eric's been the only person I've dated to really deal with me in any productive manner, even if I tell him he's no help at all. Honestly, he helps a lot, and understands me better than any other boyfriend in the past. I'm still looking for medication to help with all this, but after all the prior failure with meds, I'm not very optimistic.
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