[MarioRPG]

I've spoilered my story, because it takes up a lot of space, and it makes some blue text easier to read. Enjoy.

Spoilers!

No doubt it's a box of festive cheer. Who could it possibly be from? Golly gee, it's packed to the brim! I guess I'm supposed to read this note. Dear MarioRPG, Happy Holidays. Enclosed are a few tokens for the Season. The Red package is a familiar size and shape I'm sure. I'm no great collector. I read and pass along with no idea of their collectible value. It may be crap or it may be a goldmine. The green box is not for you. It is a gift for your wife, girlfriend or mother and for you a gift of time. Trust me it's lovely. Now you don't have to stress about that. Felicitations, Stonewar. So... Stonewar is to thank for this bounty of booty? Thanks much! Let's open this "red package" that is allegedly "familiar". Oh yes. Quite familiar. This shall be good reading, and perhaps spark intense intellectual thought and discussion on the matters of present-day "heroes". Or maybe it will just be entertaining. Who knows. I move on to the next package, filled with anticipation. It was light... What could it be? Paper? Tissue? Bubble wrap? The possibilities wracked my brain. It nearly drove me to madness, Stonewar had even packed scissors to open it with. I let my friend open it for me, lest my sanity wane further. The box was unwrapped and opened in an instant. It was... YES. None other than Dewey and Vanessa made by Meatwad himself. I was a little skeptical. I quickly ran a quick comparison, and the it was spot on. Truly, Stonewar had stolen (kidnapped?) Meatwad's only friends. I moved on to a rather unremarkable box. My gift-(un)wrapping childhood instinct kicked in, and suddenly... A BATMAN BOP BAG. Why someone would bop batman, I'll never know. Note: The receipt/ticket on the box had this listed as "blowup doll" and I was rather nervous to open it in mixed company - or at all. I had my photo-shy assistant open the gift that was allegedy not for me. Actual Dialouge: Me: Well? Her: There's nothing here, it's just a bunch of sticky shiny stuff. Me: That's what she said! Her: death glare -silence- Her: Oh wait, it's at the bottom of this really small box. Huh. -silence- A beautiful and I'm assuming original bracelet! And it's blue (which means magic, for those not aware). But will it work? Obvs. I guess that about wraps it up! I'll just be--- (indecipherable voice) YOU ARE GOING TO ENTER A WORLD OF PAIN. Wha? Batman? How'd you? I mean? Wh--- (indecipherable voice)I don't take kindly to rapists. Oh, heh. It's not like that. I mean we're--- (indecipherable voice)Shut up, scumbag, you're going away for a long time. Come on Dewey, back me up here! You too, Vanessa! V: ... D: ... Nuts to you guys! I'm telling the tru--- (indecipherable voice)Won't come quietly, eh? *throws bat boomerang* *gurgle* Scissors... My one weakness... *blug* (indecipherable voice)Oh shit, this is the wrong utility belt. And now I've broken my rule not to kill people, regardless that I did I the end of that movie. crapcrapcrap. V: Ssst. Hey, check this out. Follow us. D: Problem solved. Merry Christmas! P.S That batman thing is damn impossible to blow up.