[Cosmo Electrolux]

okay....first, I'll rub you down with either massage oil or Mazola so that when I lick your tits, my spit will bead up like raindrops on a freshly waxed Bentley. Then, I'll put down a plastic drop cloth so that the napalm doesn't stick to the hard wood floors, and melt some wax so I can affix the matches to your flesh and weave them into your bush (the half we didn't shave off). Then, as the soundtrack to "Footloose" drones in the background, we'll reenact the "fire-love" scene from Wickerman, then run burning into the hot tub, which I've filed with potato salad.