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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Non-trendy NYC enclave
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Old Jan 29th, 2011, 02:48 AM       
Coin operated bacon dispeser. Looks and functions like one of those hand dryers in public bathrooms. Bacon will be fed from a spool, past the heater coil, and into the customers bare hands. It will be cut into 1.5" x 75' strips on a special rotary cutting machine that rotates the pig while a blade cuts meat from the pig like a record needle cutting through a record. If a large electromagnet connected to the output of a powerful audio amplifer were affixed to the pig blade, one could record sound onto the pigs rotating carcass.
"We're equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island."
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