[george]

when you came to my place and we watched Childs Toy for a whole day, ever since then she has been hooked on Anime. all your fault buddy.

ok back to business:

Two Parties

I dont know where to start on this part.

Nancy and I decided to have a party. Well, mostly it was Nancy but at this point I tried to avoid doing anything that would piss her off more than she already was. Things had really disintagrated at this point. Seriously, I couldn't do anything that didn't get half my ass torn off at any given time. A prime example:

One day I woke up. I realized Nancy had come home that night because I woke up in a puddle of urine. Once again she had gotten drunk and wet the bed. I took a deep breath, got up, and went and took a shower.

It was really early, so I decided to fix breakfast for the kids. I made breakfast, and me and the kids had a jolly time. Mostly cause at this point we had a duck named Sparticus and a goat named Elvis. The goat would follow the duck everywhere. If the duck stood still for a minute the goat would rape it.

This was amusing enough, but on this fine day the goat was in rare form and when i let Bubba out, the goat tried to rape him. I was always of the opinion that Bubba was a human in dog form, so when Bubba literally did a double take I could almost hear him thinking WTF. Very patiently Bubba turned around, grabbed the goat around the neck, and shook the ever fucking daylights out of the goat, and then peed on his inert body.

laughter ensued. a lot of it. and we woke up the monster.

I had watched the whole episode with the animals from my kitchen window while I did the dishes. Nancy came stomping into the kitchen from our bedroom. Stomped off to the bathroom, and then returned to the kitchen.

"What?!" she demanded.

I turned. and for a moment she looked just like the fucking girl that comes out of the TV in that shitty movie The Ring. I raised my eyebrows, but said nothing. At this point I had started reading a lot of books about how to deal with pyschological abuse. I decided to try out a technique that one had recommended, dont say ANYTHING. I turned back to doing the dishes.

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!" She shouted, and the kids made a break for it to their rooms. At this point they had learned that any argument we had would be worse if they were around cause I would back down if they weren't around, but if she could bring them into it I would defend them ferociously. Plus seriously, who wants to fucking waste a saturday morning listening to their parents argue?

"YOU NO GOOD JOBLESS (i had three jobs at this point), FUCKING DRUG ADDICT ASSHOLE (hadnt touched anything in months), FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, BLAH, FUCKING BLAH, BLAH"

"I made breakfast." I should have stayed quiet.

I don't know what she said next, she just started screaming. I concentrated on doing the dishes like my life depended on it. Then there was silence. I should have seen it coming, but I was just hoping that she would go away. I heard steps come up behind me, and before I knew what was going on she hit me in the back of the head with a can of scrubby bubbles. She nearly knocked me the fuck out, and she managed to hit me three or four more times before the can burst, and I could turn around.

I turned around and she tried to spray me in the eyes with the scrubby bubbles. Calmly, I grabbed the arm with holding the spray can and raised her arm up so she could not get the shit in my eyes. I kept telling her to calm down, and she tried to knee me in the nuts, slipped, and fell to the floor.

She started screaming help at the top of her lungs. The kids came running, and when she spied them she screamed "SEE HOW YOUR FATHER TREATS WOMEN, THIS IS HOW YOUR FATHER TREATS WOMEN" the kids turned and walked to their rooms. I cant imagine what it looked like to them, but we have laughed about this incident many times. It was pathetic that she would try to use them to hurt me, but it was pretty typical.

gotta go pee, will continue......