Vince, you like working here, right? We've been like family here, haven't we?
Look, Vince, I brought you in to discuss your productivity. Now we here at I-Mockery & Mockery took a chance a couple of years back on you. We let go of a
fine associate, and made you the Chief Director of Conservative Lunacy (CDCL).
Well, the BOD has conducted an audit on your performance level, and sadly, we were wrong. I'll admit, at first, you were great. I believe my initial summary of you summed it up nicely:
" In less than one month here, he (Vince) has accused the public education system of being the concentration camps of the Liberals, he has volunteered to break the wrists of protestors, and has likewise volunteered to "service" Max's wife."
What can I say? We thought we were drafting Peyton Manning, and instead we got Doug Flutie. You rarely show up, your thoughts are often garbled (in the bad way), and worst of all, the overall
quality has simply dropped off.
" You should leave whatever work you do now and become a stand-up comic."????? What in God's name is that? "The 90's were over about 5 years ago, douchebag."???? Where's the vulgarity? Where's the bad grammar? Where's the sodomy!!?
I'm sorry, but that just won't cut it here, son. So, you leave us no choice but to henceforth terminate your contract with I-Mockery & Mockery.
Please clean out your desk immediately.
Anyone interested in the position can submit their resume and cover letter to the board.
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