Features

Studio8 · #1

I needed to wash clothes today and I needed quarters to do that. I went looking for quarters and I saw some people selling ice cream and snowball type things at a little league baseball game. I watched the little league baseball game for a little while, bought a snowball, and then this is what I saw:

Ext. Baseball Field.
An 11 year old boy, HANK, and a 13 year old girl, LAURA, arrive on bikes. Normal kids dressed in normal attire. MORT, a 12 year old boy walks up to them. He's wearing a backwards hat and his boxers are sticking out the top of his orange shorts.

MORT: What's up bitches?

Hank looks uncomfortably and makes sharp eye contact with Laura. Laura is twice as uncomfortable. Mort lightly shoves Laura.

LAURA: Hey.

Laura playfully shoves back.

MORT: Bitch slapped by a bitch, you slut.

MORT'S MOM(Off Camera): Mort, come here!

Mort leaves and Laura and Hank look at each other in disbelief.

The End.

SO- I don't know why, but this scene bothered me. This little dickhead kid was being really mean. I know it was none of my business so I would never bother being all like, "Hey, you. You-shouldn't-do-that-because-that's-mean."

I thought it would be funnier if I scared him or something. So I walked by the group and really loudly into my cell phone said, "HE'S WEARING ORANGE SHORTS AND FILA SHOES. HEADING WEST ON SUNNYSIDE." Then I hung up and rounded the corner and waited. I could hear him whispering and when I turned around he was running like crazy in the opposite direction.
I went up to the other kids and told them I was just kidding with him but to please carry on the joke. They laughed, told me how scared he was, and told me thank you because he's a jerk. I smiled.

On my walk back my snowball fell out of it's home, the tiny paper cup. I totally didn't give a fuck about it, either.

marmielake · #2

they are called sno-cones.

SirGodzilla · #3

There's a kid who was like that in my High School. He seems to be enemies with pretty much everyone in the school, he calls my friends and I emo, stoner fags (most of us don't actually listen to emo, we'd don't all smoke and none of us are gay), but he's only a freshmen so no one has really wanted to fuck him up. A little whle ago he beat this girl with his shoe after they bothered him, so now a teacher has to follow him around. I've always wished that his friends and my friends met on some street out of school so we could slam him around. It's nice that some people get chances like these.

McClain · #4

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirGodzilla

There's a kid who was like that in my High School. He blah blah blah blah freshmen blah blah blah blah blah emo, stoner fags blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Thanks for derogating this thread.

MetalMilitia · #5

Studio8 strikes again!

Yggdrasill · #6

MORT is an ICP fan. These children are everywhere and they all want to stab me.

Studio8 · #7

And maybe I will strike again, too!

Skulhedface · #8

While I have yet to run into a little kid that uses the word "bitches" so freely, I do have a similar experience.

I do my grocery shopping really late at night so as to avoid having to stand in line at Wal-Mart for 30 minutes... I was there on a Wednesday night at 3am and there's a kid, who couldn't have been older than 10, unsupervised, in the electronics department. He was sitting there playing the Gamecube on display and as I'm looking through the $10 DVDs I hear this kid scream loudly "FUCK! The fucking thing fucking killed me!"

More than anything, I was amused because as cliche as foul-mouthed kids are, I'd never actually heard one in real life. I turn to look and see, and the kid looks at me and says "What the fuck you staring at?"

I didn't have a lot of time to react like Studio8 did so I just came up with the quickest answer I could; "My next victim." Then I winked at him, and he took off running.

I wish I could say there was some spectacular ending to this, but it was anti-climactic, as I didn't see that kid (or his parents, if they were there as well) the rest of the time I was there.