The Gospel of Gary.

[Guitar Woman]

And lo, Gary did meditate aside the waters of the River Jordan,



Where he saw walking Jesus of Nazereth.



And Gary did forcibly position his foot in the Lord's dingleberries



And Gary did take a brick, and taught the Son of God a lesson in PAIN.



And yea, Gary did pick up his spear, and instructed Jesus Christ in the ways of Gomorrah.



And lo, Jesus didn't know what the fuck.



And Gary's wrath was great, and he did get first century on that busta.


TO BE CONTINUED


http://rs526.rapidshare.com/files/185635662/frc_T_yO_tesment.rar

[Guitar Woman]

The next day, Gary did travel to Jerusalem and wailed on the elderly.



Now the guard was fed up with Gary's bullshit and did LAY DOWN THE LAW.



And yea, Gary did not give a shit.




Now the guards took Gary and tried him with the armless guy Daniel.




He aready has no arms, you jackass.


And Gary was set free, and did relapse and rolled out on them fools. And though Gary did LET OUT THE FURY, he was overcome and slain in the desert.



Gary: 1 AD - 30 AD

[Big McLargehuge]

did you make that?

[bigtimecow]

i saw arrowX in the URL

[Sam]

hahhahahah guitar woman is really arrowX

BANNED

[Guitar Woman]

Arrowx sent me the game and pictures

I was gonna make my own story about topless girl Hitler, but I couldn't get fraps up and running :<

[Sam]

LIKELY STORY

[Big McLargehuge]

BANNED

[Tadao]

Assisting a ban circumvention?

[Nick]

What is this game?

[Guitar Woman]

It's called The You Testament, and there's a D/L link in the first post.

Basically it's Grand Theft Auto: Jesus Edition. You can study under Jesus and get magical powers and shit, and if your spirit bar is totally red you can meditate and learn evil miracles.

Not to mention all the shit you can do with hand to hand combat, since it's based on the engine of Wrestlemania '98. As pictured in the first post.

[Dimnos]

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman

It's called The You Testament, and there's a D/L link in the first post.

Basically it's Grand Theft Auto: Jesus Edition. You can study under Jesus and get magical powers and shit, and if your spirit bar is totally red you can meditate and learn evil miracles.

Not to mention all the shit you can do with hand to hand combat, since it's based on the engine of Wrestlemania '98. As pictured in the first post.

I have to play this!

[Guitar Woman]

Little warning, you get bombarded with scripture every 5 minutes or so.

[DevilWearsPrada]

Played this for like half an hour, john the baptist got all smart with me so I ripped his staff out of his hands and used it to show him who was the real weak one

[Chojin]

Oh shit man, a guard cut my fucking arm off :<

[Guitar Woman]

This game is kingly!

I played as a girl and ran around getting men pregnant by beating them up. Then I provoked a riot by wailing on the roman legions, and everyone just started brawling randomly.

Then some guy threw a banana at me and I died

[Chojin]

Did you know that you can hug people if you run into them?

*hug roman soldier fondly*

Roman soldier then cold-cocks me in the face and tells me i'm going to jail for assault, while my character stumbles around in the background, falling over twice.

And then I'm condemned to be crucified, in a horrifying spectacle where I'm nailed to a cross while my health bleeds out.

Below, Roman soldiers are beating people with bags of money.

[Chojin]

fuck, this game is like impossible even when you try to play it right

so jesus and i go to wreck this temple and jesus is like 'hay james, lol, if you meditate on the last chakra, you can totally become invincible'

So i'm like 'awesome jesus let's do this brother' and i turn on invincibility, and run over to a roman. I kill one of them with a mighty swing of my sword and then immediately his friend turns around and cuts my fucking eyes out.

I then go on trial, my one good eye pleading with the crowd, and am found not guilty, only to go insane from lack of water and begin involuntarily beating the judge, who then stomps a mudhole in me until i die.

and you can't continue, so, that's that.

*also jesus is the guy in red on the bridge, not the guy in purple. they look almost exactly the same and the one in purple claims to be the lord, idk why the author thought that'd be a great idea. When you beat up on jesus he just basically complains a lot and then cures your evil soul, and you're treated to his face being hilariously bloodied in all his cutscenes

[executioneer]

god this made me laugh. i might have to actually play this

"GET OUT OF HERE DUDE YOU ARE WANTED FOR MURDER IN THIS TOWN"

"*KA-BLAM*, there's what i think of that idea fuckface"

[executioneer]

oh god i could barely get past the character creation. ITS JUST TOO MUCH.

anyways without further ado: part the first of the gospel of 11-foot-tall Rodney Dangerfield


I TELL YA I'M HAVIN' A BAD WEEK, MY PSYCHIATRIST TOLD ME I'M GOIN' CRAZY! SO I ASKED FOR A SECOND OPINION, HE SAID "ALL RIGHT YOU'RE UGLY, TOO"


WHOOPS, THE ROMANS ARE COMING. SHOW'S OVER PEOPLE. YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE


no respect, i tell ya


oh i bet you will, sweetheart

[Fathom Zero]

[executioneer]

hilarious note: your character can be anywhere from one to eleven feet, and the pitch of your combat noises are based directly on how tall you are, so when you play an eleven foot tall it sounds like fezzig from princess bride is getting whaled on by the romans

[bigtimecow]

so i google this game and one of the results i find is this

http://www.gamedamage.net/forum/inde...showtopic=4319

you whore

edit: lol and i just found this quote from someone on GW "the guitar woman effect; the more bullshit you write, the less credible you become "

i'm sorry GW you're an alright guy/girl

[executioneer]

oh man the cheats make this game almost passable

[Chojin]

there are cheats?