The stupidest things you've ever heard.

[Jixby Phillips]

I was in highschool, and me and my friends were out bowling. Anyway, this redneck guy walks up to us. You could tell that he was being egged on by his redneck friends, for whatever reason, to come say something to us. So he walks up, like he's got something really clever and insulting to say. He sits down at the lane next next to ours, and taps my friend's shoulder. He says one of the most amazing things I've ever heard:

"If there was a yearbook, you'd be dumbass number 1, and you'd be dumbass number 2!"

He walks back to his group of friends.

Lets disect this statement "If there was a yearbook." What? A yearbook for what? The bowling alley? Or does he mean just in general? Did he, before walking over to burn us, convince himself that he invented the concept of a yearbook? Also, does this concept include a "Dumbass #1" and "Dumbass #2" title?

And the best thing about it, is that I got it on tape! I had a camcorder with me, and I taped him saying it! You can only hear the end of it, but his satisfied smile and nod before he walks away, finished with us, is forever captured on tape.

Fuck, I gotta find that tape.

SOMEBODY ELSE GO NOW