FatAss Food Secrets

[Command Prompt]

Take junk food to the next level! Fat people taught me these, and no one knows more about junk food than fat people

1. Salsa Sour Cream Dip - Mix any old salsa with sour cream (more salsa then sour cream) until it becomes a dark pink abortion color. Tastes MUEA BUENO and you can dip ANYTHING into it. Try adding bacon bits for texture

2. Pizza, Dipped in Ranch. - Works best with Pizza made with multiple cheeses. Make sure to use full on ranch and not the sissy light kind.

3. Doritos and Cheeze Fondue - Oddly enough, dill pickle doritos is the way to go here.

4. Jack Daniel's makes BBQ sauce. Wich makes a great dip to go with...microwave bacon!


Choke it back, you fat pigs! If all else fails, spray aerosol cheeze directly into your mouth!

[Command Prompt]

Oh, I invented this one myself, you know the "real" bacon bits?

I ate a jar of them with a spoon once






or twice. I hate being poor.

[maggiekarp]

The first two I know of, and were actually taught to me by skinny people

The Sour Cream/Salsa stuff is better with green salsa, and it looks FAR less gross

[Guitar Woman]

Originally Posted by Command Prompt

Oh, I invented this one myself, you know the "real" bacon bits?

I ate a jar of them with a spoon once

When was this, because I also invented doing that

Also sometimes I eat marachino cherries out of the jar

[maggiekarp]

Hey, I invented that

I call it "pissing off everyone in the house who wanted a sundae"

[Esuohlim]

I eat oreos with peanut butter p.s. i learned this from lindays lohan

[Emu]

If you eat like a fat person, you BECOME a fat person.

[ItalianStereotype]

put oil in a pan and heat it on the stove.

take any variety of soft, thick chocolate chip cookies and put a caramel in the middle of them.

fry the cookies!

remove the cookies and then put dulce de leche ice cream on top!

don't do it often, or you'll become a fatty!

lunlun, that last part doesn't apply to you. it's way too late for you anyway.

[maggiekarp]

Fat people get that way from eating too much, but it isn't always junk food.

I WILL NOW TELL YOU A TRAGIC STORY!

When my uncle was a child, he went to kindergarten and all the kids made fun of him for being fat, saying he ate twinkies all the time and all that. Well, he came home weeping and asked his mom "What's a twinkie?"


I think it's sad, anyway


Apples and pickles are good together, if I remember right.

[Chojin]

In fourth grade we made fun of this kid all the time for being fat. He went home and begged his mom to buy him some slim-fast.

[glowbelly]

lunlun! as your mentor i am instructing you to get into this thread and call italian stereotype a greasy wop who will end up dying by choking on his spaghetti

[ItalianStereotype]

then I will respond as follows: "I'd rather simply choke on spaghetti, lunlun, than slowly suffocate as the sheer amount of fat on my neck became too much for my body to support and be found days later face down, hands still clutching greedily at the last bit of schnitzel in whatever German shithole you call home."

[glowbelly]

lunlun! get in here quick and post a picture of yourself kissing a bottle of chianti.