Lessions I've learned...

[Rev. Danno]

LESSION 1, I leaned this one about a month ago...
NEVER tell your girlfriend you need to move out because your sick of being her maid, and personal asistant, and there are too many people in the house. Say you need a place you can have some quiet time...
Yes, my girlfriend told me I couldn't sleep in the same bed, then stopped talking to me, then she dumped me... On Valintines day...
I then moved into my new place, and well I've been hitting the bars everynight.

LESSION 2, don't assume everyone in a bar is there for the same reason as you...
I'm at a bar just a few blocks from my house last Friday, I'm there drinking, having a good time listening to music I put on the Juke box. This woman sits down next to me, good looking as well. Looked a little sad. Well... Me being the Minister that I am I start talking to here and we talk about what's bothering her, I light her cigerettes, and we buy each other a few drinks. At one point she tells me she's going to go use the Bathroom, walks away slowly, and winks at me. I nod and smile. Ok, just to let everyone know, I've dated alot of women, and I've been in alot of bars, I don't meet women in bars, and I'm a little niave when it comes to such matters.
She comes back 15 min. latter pissed at me, "What are you some Kind of FAGGOT! I've been in there for along TIME, I thought you were going in there to FUCK ME!". I turned red, she looked at me, and laughed her ass of. I had paid my tab just a few moments ago so I got up and ran like hell out of the bar, down the street, and ducked into another bar. In this bar I played pool with a really cool easy going girl who didn't want to fuck me in the bathroom, she asked if I wanted to get together the next night for a date, I said sure. We went out to a pool hall the next night, had a few drinks, had a bunch of fun. My ex that threw me out of her house came into the bar with some of her friends looking sad, me and my date got the hell out, and went accross the street for drinks, made out, and had a good time. We then walked down the street for a while, and she asked if I wanted to go over to her place tonight and meet her dog, I love dogs so I said yes, and I thought she might be trying to get me to sleep over, I had no problems with that.
We called a cab, and took off...
LESSION 3, If you hop in a cab at 2am, and you need to be at work at 9am, and you take a cab... MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING. We went to her place, watched part of Baseketball and we both passes out, I woke up at 7:30 so I could get on a bus and find my way home, I was almost late for work, and I hadn't showered, I was hungover, and I was in the clothes I wore to work the day before...
My life lately has kinda sucked, been fun, and as always been interesting...

[Mr. Vagiclean]

I can definitely learn from the advice #2, if i was old enough to drink and suave enough to make a woman wait 15 minutes for me in a bathroom to get laid

[DementedElf]

Well on Lesson one, all I can say is at least you had the balls to tell her the truth. She sounds like a real winner and you are probably better off without the cunt.

[ProfessorCool]

Glad to see your back, danno.

[Command Prompt]

LESSON 4: HOW TO FUCKING SPELL "LESSON"

[mburbank]

That was the greatest story ever told. Mel Gibson should make a movie of that. I would go to that movie.

[ArrowX]

same here

[Supafly345]

"Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that I slept over at a strangers house!"

[Hobo Renee]

"I light her cigerettes,"

What? You can smoke in bars in Oregon? Wow...what about Washington? Do they have smoking and non-smoking sections at family resturants as well? I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Smoke reminds me of my childhood before California's role as a facist health-food state became what it is today.

[AChimp]

Thank you, Danno. When I get a life, I am sure that your words will save me more than once.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

maybe the good reverend could post more of his adventures....please.

[executioneer]

you can't smoke in bars in tacoma but the rest of washington has smoke bars

wtf why the hell do they ban smoking in bars that's retarded people in bars don't care about their HEALTH

-willie

[Hobo Renee]

I guess you can't smoke in the bars in Tacoma because the city smells so bad already. Haha, Tacoma joke.

[Supafly345]

It is going on the state-wide ballot. And our state will probably pass it.

[Rev. Danno]

1. Sorry I don't spell so well
2. Yes you can smoke in bars in portland, and some resturants...
3. I didn't sleep w/ anyone, We both passed out on the couch, I don't make a habit of sleeping with someone the first time I go out with them. I don't make a habit of passing out on peoples couches either, I prefer to black out in front yards, and in kitchens...
This was mostly for those who remember me from before when I used to post alotmore. BTW, I went out w/ the girl I went out w/ this sat. and we drank all over portland, and were hassled by cops in riot gear, and I got tons of beads for showing my tits... I hate fat tues., it's like amature night for those hard core drunks like me, you know what I'm talking about Max...

[Dole]

What the fuck is this bead/tit/mardi gras thing? someone else mentioned it on here, never heard of it....
Your adventures are a good read Danno!

[Pub Lover]

Mardi Gras is their poor substitute to having pancakes on Shrove Tuesday.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

in New Orleans, women will show you their tits for cheap plastic beads.....it's awesome.

[ProfessorCool]

And then they sell the beads for donation money for the Breast Cancer Foundation!!!

[wreckreation]

why dont we ever hang out danno?
why dont you ever call me, you cunt?

[mburbank]

You know what's funny? The last time I was blindingly publicly drunk and disorderly would have been in Portland Oregon. No, wait, not funny, ironic.

There was this guy who used to hang out at saturday market. He looked old to me back then but I guess he was about the age I am now. He was in a wheelchair, dressed as a priest and there was this big homeade lucite tank attatched to the chair, and the priests upper body was in the tank and there was a monkey in it the tank with him. He had a handwritten sign starpped to his legs that read "If a priest with rickets in a monkey cage can raise money for the poor, so can you." I was doing street theater, I think, and a hobo threw an empty bottle at me and we got in a shouting match. Then later a really old black guy with both legs in casts beat me with a crutch on city bus. Man, them was the days. So yes, I know what you're talking about. Except my story had no chicks in it, becuase back then they all didn't want to ruin our great friendship. You know what I'm saying.

[Rev. Danno]

Max, I know what your saying... Women I'm friends with I don't sleep with. Or if I did sleep with it was blamed on Booze, or whatever we can come up with, and then their are those female friends I dated for a while, became wierd, needy, and emotinal... Those ladies it takes a few months away from me... then they realise I'm a good guy just as long as I'm not dating them... Hey, I just realized I don't date Psyco's I make them Psyco... Needless to say my female friends don't encourage there friends to date me, unless they don't like them, and never want to see them again...
I just realized, I haven't not been dateing sience I got back from Iceland... But that's a storie for a nother time...

[Skulhedface]

Originally Posted by Cosmo Electrolux

in New Orleans, women will show you their tits for cheap plastic beads.....it's awesome.

My friend, you have more or less explained my most recent absence.

It REALLY doesn't hurt that we were also giving beads out at the door to the shop as well.