Hey y'all! We went to the Kerry rally today and had a blast and a few other people showed up.
That last one has a big version if you click on it. The crop really doesn't do it justice.
Okay, just kidding, guys. Only this guy showed up.
But at least we got a picture with him.
Of course, all vets hate Kerry, so there were none of them there.
Except for that guy.
And that guy.
And that guy, but he doesn't count cause I didn't get a frontal picture of his hat.
Of course, such a display of democracy made Jesus incredibly angry, and the fountains ran pink with the blood of aborted babies nationwide.
So, of course, Emily couldn't resist playing in it.
Naturally, Jesus himself was well-represented at the event as well.
I love that sign. It's like, "Don't get an abortion - I hear it's pretty icky." Next in this line of thinking will be the slogan "Appendectomies - isn't all the blood going a little
too far?"
The liberal media was also represented:
There's this dude, too, who looks kinda familiar.
Sadly, the most liberal station of all apparently couldn't make it.
I mean, fuck, even TOKYO NEWS was there.
MIX MASTER DJ JAZZY STEVE ON THE SET Y'ALL
SNIPERS ON THE SET Y'ALL
TREE-HUGGING LIBERALS IN ATTENDANCE Y'ALL
HAITI APPARENTLY REPRESENTIN', Y'ALL
And then confetti goes everywhere and Clinton's entrance music blares from the line arrays! (I'm not kidding)
ANYBODY HERE FROM
PENNSYLVANIA?
YOU WAIT IN LINE, KERRY, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. MY FELLOW AMERICANS! GOTS ANY GUM?
PHILADELPHIA IS FEELIN' IT
OKAY FUCK I'M HERE GUYS BILL YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING SHOW-STEALER YOU KNOW THAT YOU PRICK YEAH HA HA I'M KIDDING GUYS THAT BILL'S SUCH A CARD. Uh... ANYBODY HERE FROM
PENN- Oh, Bill already did that? Shit.
I PLAN TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY WITH THE MIGHT OF MY AMAZING PILEDRIVER. I WILL PICK BUSH UP, INVERT HIM LIKE SO, AND GENTLY YET FIRMLY GRIP HIS SPINE AS I DRIVE HIS HEAD INTO THE MAT FOR THE 1-2-3. AM I RIGHT GUYS.
All that talk about gripping got Kerry's bodyguard pretty hot, understandably. Look at him eyeing him with longing, unrequitted lust.
The first touch was something of a surprise and Kerry shook with a violent jolt.
Thankfully for all parties, the supple grasping of Agent Smith was eventually accepted as a necessary evil and a good time was had by all.
And then, ArrowX's unreasonably gigantic, pudgy, and emaciated mitt reaches out to get in on the hot amateur presidential elect action.
Kerry swiftly dodges while posing for the crowd.
"I'm out, bizzies!"
"I love you."
Well, the day came to a close and we made some good new friends.
...And all was peaceful in Philadelphia.
"So, what did you think of this informative vignette?"
"'Wiener.'"
Honestly, we had a lot of fun and it was refreshing to see so many Kerry supporters in attendance. After all the senators came up (some of whom were overly religious, but one of whom said "Bush thinks God talks to him. That scares the shit out of me.") some woman came through the crowd with blue tickets and let us move up closer, which is what the far-away pics of clinton and kerry are from. Afterwards, the crowd began to disperse and we moved way up. Emily almost touched Kerry ;< KERRY YOU MIGHT HAVE AMAZING HAIR BUT IF YOU TRY TO MUSCLE IN ON MY WOMAN YOU'LL BE IN A WORLD OF PRESIDENTIAL
PAIN, YOU HEAR ME?
There were a grand total of about 10 protestors. But hey, at least they're fucking allowed to protest at a Kerry rally. Clinton was great as usual and his best line was "If you have a man who wants you to be be afraid and a man who wants you to hope, you want the man who wants you to hope," (Or something). Kerry's best line was "During the debates, Bush sat at a podium across from me and kept saying 'It's hard work. It's hard work. It's hard work.' Well, in eight days, I'll be more than happy to relieve him of that work," (Or something).
We met a couple nice people named Steve and Ellana (i don't know how to spell) and we walked 234234 miles to a taco bell afterwards and met another kerry supporter and we all say down and pretended to be important. In the ninth hour of the night, we headed back to b-more and I sat down and started writing this.
GOOD NIGHT, AND MAY GOD CONTINUE TO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT AMERICA.