Protector of the Weak

[Hugh_Bristic]

I don't know about you all, but I've always fantasised about playing the hero - stepping in and stopping fights. Sometimes I get so carried away I think the kid will remember me when he wants to shoot up a school, when he wants to bludgeon his family in their sleep, or when he gets old enough to take inventory of his life and remembers that one time he didn't get his ass kicked in a schoolyard. Anyway, I stopped a fourth grade fight today. It was pretty rad.

At 3.03pm I left to pick up my little brother from school. Walking towards the school, I see a scared Mexican boy under the enormous arm of a white kid; he looked like his bitch. Normally, I'd let it slide. So what if the white man wants to kick a few of the pigmented? But something was wrong: there were two more Mexican boys hanging around. Anyone who knows anything knows that more than one Mexican means trouble. I pick up my kid brother and as we're walking home I look back to see they're holding the scared kid by his arms and legs. Some fuckin' "vato" was saying, "I'll punch him first, then you!" I threw down, yo (well, I threw down my kid brother's backpack), and ran up behind the kid who was about to do the punching. I grab his neck and say, "What's the problem boys?" (all stern and country-like) and they say:

"We're just playin' around."

'You hold your friends down and punch 'em for fun? Sounds like no one should be your friend.'

"No really, we're just playing around. (looks to friends) Weren't we?"

'Listen, what's your name? Carlos? Okay, Carlos. I'm gonna be watching you from this moment out. If I even see that you're looking at this kid wrong, I'll follow you home and get you. We don't want mama to know what you're doing after school, do we?'

'No... *mutters something in Mexican speak*'

"Have a good day boys." - And then honest to God, I winked at the feeble kid. I felt like fuckin' John Wayne!

The crux of this story is: Don't fuck with me or I'll squeeze your neck and tell mom! Oh, and I'm cool.